Book Review SOUL OF CIVILITY Alexandra Hudson

Thank you to the author Alexandra Hudson, publishers St. Martin's Press and SMPI, for an advance digital copy of THE SOUL OF CIVILITY. Thank you also to NetGalley for the widget. All views are mine.


Opening Quote: Do not do unto others whatever is injurious to yourself. --The Gathas, the Writings of Zarathustra... between 3000 and 2000 BC loc.1260

Opening Quote: Civility is communicative moral conduct. loc.3799

Three (or more) things I loved:

1. I love the focus on distinguishing civility from politeness, where politeness is a collection of superficial behaviors that are mostly demanded as a social requirement of some sort. Whereas civility is behavior informed by deep personal belief, compassion, or justice, to start.

2. I really enjoyed the inclusion of the discussion about Confusionism. Confusion was conflicted, but clearly advocated for emotional stillness and kindness to one's neighbor, as did Lao Tzu.

3. I found fascinating the section about Erasmus who lived in the middle ages and wrote The Handbook on Good Manners for Children. The volume focuses heavily on cleanliness, interestingly, and not being disgusting to your guest. This gets past a superficial behavior code and gets at a respect and defense of another's bodily health and sense of humanity.

4. I don't love every sentence of it, but I generally do love the guidelines Hudson provides called "How to Promote Tolerance and Diminish Partisanship" at loc.3740. Number 9 is my favorite: 
...Reminders for public figures: 
...Say what you mean. 

Don’t lie. Ennoble, don’t debase. The test of a true leader is whether their words bring out the best in their audience or the worst. Tyrants inflame. Princes guide. 

Don’t use audiences for self-aggrandizement.

Don’t say something just because you think it is what your audience wants to hear. That’s patronizing to them, and not respectful.

Remember you don’t have to have an opinion and speak out on every issue all the time. Embrace silence, and heed Marcus Aurelius’ words: “You always own the option of having no opinion.” loc. 3763.

5. Great definition of forgiveness: Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean allowing the same people or types of people to repeatedly harm us. Nor does forgiveness mean sweeping grievances under the rug, failing to confront the hurt in our own souls or confronting others with the hurt they’ve done to us. Forgiveness requires accountability, personal responsibility. It means respecting ourselves and others enough to be honest with them about the harm they may have caused. loc. 5190

Rating: 🫒🫒🫒🫒 olive branch
Recommend? Yes!
Finished: Oct 7 23
Format: Digital arc, Kindle, NetGalley 
Read this book if you like:
ℹ️ nonfiction
👨‍🎓 philosophy and ethics
🏙 society and culture
🗣 communication 

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